Kicked in the Teeth

Well, I did what every blogger hopes not to do. I started writing, stuck with it for a while and then disappeared. Unfortunately, mine is a common tale. With all best intentions, I wanted to share my stories, experiences and life lessons and then, guess what? Another future “story” or “life lesson” kicks me in the teeth. How many of us have had this experience? We are going along in life, trying to grow and learn and minister in the way that God is calling us to.  Then, sometimes out of the blue we get knocked down, derailed or just sidetracked.  Then we have a choice.

We can choose disappointment and anger at God and the self pity that tends to accompany those feelings. Or, we can step back and take some time to process events so that they can be turned into a “life lesson” when we feel less bloodied. I know that retrospect is a great vantage point. I never think that what I am experiencing may have future value for someone else. At the time, it just feels bad.

I had a really great year and a really rough year. Both those things happened at the same time. I had a great year because I felt like God was opening up some new opportunities for me to minister. I was excited about maybe teaching at my church or developing relationships with other women and writing blog posts (!) I made some changes in my schedule that would allow for these things and I knew that God was clearly leading. I had great expectations.
That was the really great year part. The really rough year part was realizing that there were some big real-life problems that were going to derail my plans. Like finances, family health issues, relationship quandaries and, well, you know… life. So, I took a step back. I felt kicked in the teeth. And…I adjusted my expectations.

My expectations and God’s plans for me seem to rarely be the same. I usually get them wrong. See, here I go on a life lesson.  Just because I get derailed or things don’t go as I am planning and expecting doesn’t mean I am not continuing to grow, learn and minister. Rarely am I able to put into action a plan for myself that will insure the optimum in spiritual growth, learning and ministry. But, God knows what I need. He knows what roadblocks will make me press into Him harder, and when to give me a breather. He knows what I can and can’t handle and when I am resilient or not. I can trust that His plans for me are probably more productive than mine, even if they are not what I expected.

So, all of us can step back and take a moment to process and talk to Him about what is or isn’t happening the way we expected. We can trust His plan and see him turn it into a “life lesson” for us and maybe even for someone else. And then we can keep growing, learning and ministering from that place of trust. As for me, I am going to try to keep writing on my blog.